小三英文写作一篇

2012-04-26 · 2149 阅读
前段时间,学校带孩子们去了动物园,回来让孩子做一个动物的手工作品,并且要选出好的作品代表学校参加新加坡动物设计的比赛,获奖的还可以获得品牌赞助商的奖励,儿子回来利用废品做了一个带轮子的鲸鱼,功夫没白费,成为班级选送的三件作品之一参加新加坡全国的比赛,至于比赛结果还没有出来,随后老师又要求他们根据自己的作品写一份信,以下是吾儿的写作,大家分享,也希望达人给予指点,先谢了!
Dear Pet Owner,
    I’m the king of the sea, my name is Killer Whale. I have a quite large body but I’ll be very happy if you call me baby.
    We are one of the biggest family in the world, and we are the biggest mammal in water. We are black and white in color, when we jump out of the water, it is gorgeous. We live in water most of the time but we breath by lung, we have blowholes on our heads and when we spread water from the blowhole, it’s wonderful and it looks like a fountain I think. We feed on different kinds of fishes and usually we hunt in groups. We suckle our babies with our milk and take good care of them by ourselves.
    We can be good pets, and we can be good friends of our owner. We’d like to take our owner to have a magical trip on water, you sit on our back just like sitting in a very speed ship, can you imagine that, is it a little be crazy, but it’ll be cool I think. Don’t be nervous, we can protect you well and get away from the sharks. If you give us some encourage like delicious salmons, we’ll make some tricks for you and jump out of water then turn around, we can jump and kick the ball as well it depends on the rewards.
    Dear owner, we only have a few suggestions, we’d like you to give us a bath everyday and play some music for us when we are going to sleep, most of all, feed us nice and fresh salmons everyday, if so, you must be my best owner and we’re sure to be your lovely pet.

Yours Sincerely
Killer Whale.
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回答|共 8 个

jjrchome LV16

发表于 26-4-2012 01:20:42 | 显示全部楼层

小狮租房
写的不错,赞一下。

有一点点瑕疵,更改如下:

I’m the king of the sea,my name is Killer Whale. I have a quite large body but I’ll be very happy if you call me baby.

    We are the members of one of the biggest families in the world, and we are the biggest mammal in water. We are black and white in color,  and it is gorgeous when we jump out of the water. We spend most of our time in water but we breathe by lung. We have blowholes on our heads and when we spray water from the blowhole, it’s wonderful as it looks like a fountain I think. We feed on different kinds of fishes and  we usually hunt in groups. We suckle our babies with our milk and take good care of them by ourselves.

    We can be good pets, and we can be good friends of our owner.  We’d like to take our owner on a trip in water, sitting on our back just like sitting in a very speed ship. Can you imagine that? Is it a little be crazy? But it’ll be cool I think. Don’t be nervous, we can protect you well and get you away from the sharks. If you give us some encourage like delicious salmons, we’ll make some tricks for you, like jumping out of water then turning around. We can jump or kick the ball,depending on the rewards.

    Dear owner, we have only a few suggestions. We’d like you to give us a bath everyday and play some music for us when we are going to sleep. Most of all, feed us nice and fresh salmons everyday.  If so, you must be my best owner and we’re sure to be your lovely pet.

另外,虎鲸不是最大的哺乳动物, 蓝鲸才是。

点评

J版真适合当老师  详情 回复 发表于 26-4-2012 14:33

NJTSG88 LV7

发表于 26-4-2012 10:51:57 | 显示全部楼层

jjrchome 发表于 26-4-2012 01:20
写的不错,赞一下。

有一点点瑕疵,更改如下:

谢谢达人的指导!

lilywhite LV15

发表于 26-4-2012 11:05:18 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层

写的真好,谢谢分享!

LUCYAMY LV8

发表于 26-4-2012 12:33:33 | 显示全部楼层

:victory:  小三就写的这么好,而且才来新加坡一年而已哦,  真不错!

yuebaby LV13

发表于 26-4-2012 14:39:50 | 显示全部楼层

J版适合当老师啊,作文的语法错误我都熟视无睹:L

三年级的小朋友写的不错.赞一个.

NJTSG88 LV7

发表于 27-4-2012 10:54:54 | 显示全部楼层

LUCYAMY 发表于 26-4-2012 12:33
小三就写的这么好,而且才来新加坡一年而已哦,  真不错!

夸奖的有点不好意思了

NJTSG88 LV7

发表于 27-4-2012 10:56:38 | 显示全部楼层

yuebaby 发表于 26-4-2012 14:39
J版适合当老师啊,作文的语法错误我都熟视无睹

三年级的小朋友写的不错.赞一个. ...

语法我也是没太多敏感 不过口头可以忽略 写下来应该像J版学习 重视语法的错误并加以纠正 哈哈

yuebaby LV13

发表于 27-4-2012 11:11:07 | 显示全部楼层

NJTSG88 发表于 27-4-2012 10:56
语法我也是没太多敏感 不过口头可以忽略 写下来应该像J版学习 重视语法的错误并加以纠正 哈哈 ...

所以特佩服J版锐利的眼神.

点评

哈哈 双手赞成  详情 回复 发表于 27-4-2012 11:13
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