Show and tell 英文求助(9月12更新一楼)

KQKD

首先感谢本版的家长们无私的分享育儿经验,和热心的帮助!在本版的收获颇丰!
我的英文水平太差了,虽然很想和女儿一起学习,一起进步却也力不从心!
只能求教各位帮忙了,我知道每个家长都很繁忙!能抽出时间回复真是感激不尽!
女儿今年K2,每个星期都会有一次的Show and tell,我会把每次的主题打印出来,让她想说什么就先写下来,毕竟不同英文家庭,还没到当场看图说话的水平,而我自己程度实在太差了,也没能力给孩子修改这口语式的文章,只好请各位不吝赐教了!尤其是语法上的错误和措辞的适当性.

Last Sunday,I went to Chinese Garden with my friends.
I went in the garden,I saw a bridge,the bridge has thirteen holes.
My friends and me used some sticks to make a house at the lawn.
There are a lot of Lantern,because Mid-autumn festival is coming soon.
My brother want to tried to stands on the big stone ,but he is afraid. we stood in front of the stone ,then we took photos with stone.
We have fun!We like Chinese Garden!We will go there again!

云朵飘飘

Last Saturday,my parent brought   my brother and I   to visit t Ridout Tea Garden.
We had breakfast at McDonald's ,after breakfast we went to see some  tortoises,then we  appreciated  flowers in Far East Flora.I saw a lot of flowers.
There are  Bougainvillea,Rose,Small Cactus,Orchid and Lotus....There are  many kinds of flowers which  I have not  seen before .
I love Frangipani because it is very beautiful .  I took photos of /with Frangipani.We enjoyed the trip and we will go there every Saturday .

KQKD

云朵飘飘 发表于 19-8-2012 22:23
Last Saturday,my parent brought   my brother and I   to visit t Ridout Tea Garden.
We had breakfast  ...

非常感谢您的指点！

云朵飘飘

不要客气。举手之劳而已。

KQKD

更新了,请大侠们不安吝赐教!感谢!

yishun2009

Last Saturday, my parents brought my brother and me to Farm Mark Center.
There are many animals. I fed the goats with some sweet potato leaves first, then I went to feed the parrots. The parrots were eating sunflower seeds. Although sunflower seeds are small, the parrots do not bite my hand, because they are very clever!
Next I fed the hamsters and rabbits with a lot of corns and carrots.
Before we left, I fed the bullfrogs, tortoises and kois with some fish food!
What's a wonderful day! I will go there again!

Be careful of:
parent vs. parents ( parents means mum and dad, parent means one of parents)
bring me to somewhere ( no need to say bring me to go to...)
feed sb. with sth.
food vs. foods
No but after although
nouns, nouns and nouns ( instead of nouns, noun and noun)

KQKD

yishun2009 发表于 31-8-2012 13:09
Last Saturday, my parents brought my brother and me to Farm Mark Center.
There are many animals. I f ...

非常感谢大侠百忙抽空的指点！受益非浅！

KQKD

对各位大侠的帮助感激不尽!不知道我家这种情况是否应该为女儿请个英文家教呢?!