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<P>>When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped </P>
<P>>in</P>
<P>>front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the </P>
<P>>car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. </P>
<P>>I was a strong and happy bridegroom.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>This was the scene of ten years ago.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; </P>
<P>>I</P>
<P>>went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were </P>
<P>>steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a </P>
<P>>civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at </P>
<P>>the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was </P>
<P>>more</P>
<P>>likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Dew came into my life.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from</P>
<P>>behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was </P>
<P>>the apartment I bought for her.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls?eyeballs.?Her </P>
<P>>words</P>
<P>>suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men </P>
<P>>like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of </P>
<P>>this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I </P>
<P>>couldn’t help doing so.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>I moved Dew’s hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, </P>
<P>>O.K? I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was </P>
<P>>unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the </P>
<P>>moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used </P>
<P>>to be something impossible to me.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No </P>
<P>>matter</P>
<P>>how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she </P>
<P>>was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting </P>
<P>>in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. </P>
<P>>Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body. This was </P>
<P>>the means of my entertainment.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what </P>
<P>>will</P>
<P>>you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she </P>
<P>>believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t </P>
<P>>imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all </P>
<P>>the</P>
<P>>staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something </P>
<P>>while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled </P>
<P>>at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live</P>
<P>>together.?I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I’ve got something </P>
<P>>to</P>
<P>>tell you? I said.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.</P>
<P>>Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what </P>
<P>>I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>She didn’t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me</P>
<P>>softly, "why??I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer </P>
<P>>turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are </P>
<P>>not a man!?></P>
<P>>At that night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she </P>
<P>>wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly </P>
<P>>give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated </P>
<P>>that</P>
<P>>she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced </P>
<P>>at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman </P>
<P>>who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But </P>
<P>>I could not take back what I had said.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected </P>
<P>>to</P>
<P>>see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce </P>
<P>>which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her</P>
<P>>writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found </P>
<P>>she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from </P>
<P>>me,</P>
<P>>but I was supposed to give her one month’s time before divorce, and in the </P>
<P>>month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was </P>
<P>>simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she </P>
<P>>didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, </P>
<P>>do</P>
<P>>you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day??This </P>
<P>>question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded </P>
<P>>and said, "I remember.?"You carried me in your arms? she continued, "So, I </P>
<P>>have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when </P>
<P>>we divorce.</P>
<P>>From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom </P>
<P>>to the door every morning.?></P>
<P>>I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to </P>
<P>>end her marriage with a romantic form.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and</P>
<P>>thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the </P>
<P>>result of divorce, she said scornfully? Her words more or less made me feel </P>
<P>>uncomfortable.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention </P>
<P>>was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So </P>
<P>>when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our </P>
<P>>son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words </P>
<P>>brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then </P>
<P>>to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed </P>
<P>>her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don’t tell our </P>
<P>>son.?> I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the </P>
<P>>door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my</P>
<P>>chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I </P>
<P>>realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long </P>
<P>>time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on </P>
<P>>her face.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being</P>
<P>>demolished. Be careful when you pass there.?></P>
<P>>On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were </P>
<P>>still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The </P>
<P>>visualization of Dew became vaguer.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, </P>
<P>>where</P>
<P>>she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I </P>
<P>>nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about </P>
<P>>this.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me</P>
<P>>stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now.?She was </P>
<P>>picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few </P>
<P>>but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have </P>
<P>>grown fatter.?I smiled. But I</P>
<P>>suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry </P>
<P>>her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the </P>
<P>>bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously, I </P>
<P>>reached out a hand to touch her head.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it’s time to carry mum out!?he </P>
<P>>said.</P>
<P>>To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential </P>
<P>>part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him </P>
<P>>tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at </P>
<P>>the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through </P>
<P>>the sitting room, to the hallway.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body </P>
<P>>tightly,</P>
<P>>as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me </P>
<P>>sad.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. </P>
<P>>Our</P>
<P>>son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your </P>
<P>>arms until we are old.?></P>
<P>>I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn’t notice that our life </P>
<P>>was lack of such intimacy.?></P>
<P>>I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any </P>
<P>>delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the </P>
<P>>door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.?She looked </P>
<P>>at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got</P>
<P>>no fever.?she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew? I said, "I </P>
<P>>can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring </P>
<P>>probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we </P>
<P>>didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her </P>
<P>>into the home, she gave birth</P>
<P>>to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say </P>
<P>>sorry to you.?></P>
<P>>Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed </P>
<P>>the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.</P>
<P>></P>
<P>>When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my </P>
<P>>wife</P>
<P>>which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words </P>
<P>>on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I’ll carry you out every morning until we </P>
<P>>are old.?</P>
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